You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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