So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
