you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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