I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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