belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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