Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
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