Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
