Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
