sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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