I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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