She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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