why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
