haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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