I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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