...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
