Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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