SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't want my vagina anymore.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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