thus making me awesome and them whores
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
