New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
