Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the day after is always just damage control
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
