sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
