brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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