but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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