Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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