i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Congratulations! We have a period
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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