they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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