i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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