Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
