Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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