My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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