in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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