my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
