it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
