There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
