My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
