I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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