My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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