what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
