she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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