just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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