I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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