As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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