I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
