Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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