I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
