if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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