Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
