we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
