you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
is it fun? or sober?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
