Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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