Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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